By Staff
Nov. 27, 2000
I apologize to all of you who are waiting with baited breath to hear about my exciting pre-school years, but I am going to have to interrupt my memoirs this week.
I feel obligated to make a few observations regarding the events which have occurred since election night. (Especially after a seemingly nice Republican lady threatened to "slap me upside the head" if I didn't.)
I'll be honest with you, I have been avoiding the subject of the election and its aftermath because the situation changes every 5 to 10 minutes. Since I submit my column days in advance, it is possible that by the time you read this, officials in Florida may have discovered that Ralph Nader actually won that state.
A mess
Here is what I do know at the time that I am writing this. The United States is a mess. On election night, George Bush won the state. He won it again after a recount. And he won it a third time after the overseas
ballots were counted.
Three strikes and Al Gore should have conceded. However, even though the Democrats have a lot of strikes against them, apparently they also have a lot of balls.
Gore's flunkies are claiming that the ballot in Democratic Palm Beach County was confusing; therefore, these people should be allowed to vote again.
Sure. Let's have the stupidest people on earth, the ones who couldn't figure out how to follow the arrow next to Al Gore's name, decide who our next president should be.
This is exactly why we should stop encouraging people to vote. One of the reasons that the election was so close was that the Democrats did a great job of getting out the "dumb" vote. If people are not smart enough to realize that they should be voting without having to be told, then they shouldn't be voting.
Certainly people who can't figure out a ballot shouldn't be deciding which presidential candidate is the best choice for our nation.
Persuasion
The Democrats also were able to persuade a Democratic Florida State Supreme Court to allow hand recounts in four democratic counties in Florida. Democrats are claiming that hand recounts are "more accurate" than machine recounts.
Apparently, Democrats must believe the cash register is at fault when they receive the wrong change at a fast food restaurant. If machines aren't more accurate than people, than none of us should ever have to pay a speeding ticket ever again.
The hand recounts are nothing more than a Democrat party plot to steal the White House at any cost. At first, the Democrats were going to count the "hanging" chads as a vote.
Pregnant' chads
When they figured out there weren't enough of these to get Gore elected, they decided to go back and count the "pregnant" chads.
If there are not enough pregnant chads to get Gore elected, I'm sure they will go back and count miscarried" chads. According to a Gore spokesman, these are "votes that went to other candidates but Gore needs them in order to get elected."
Al Gore has gone on television to say that "every vote must count." Every one knows that what he really meant was "every Gore vote must count." He proved this when he had thousands of military ballots tossed out because of the lack of a postmark.
Al Gore is a huge embarrassment to this nation.
Even the democrats who voted for him should have started to realize this.
I have heard a lot of politicians and political pundits state that we "have to rally around the eventual winner of the presidency, no matter which candidate it is." Horse droppings. If Al Gore steals the White House,
let the people in the North East and California rally around him.
The rest of America should give George W. the keys to Jefferson Davis' Biloxi home, Beauvoir, and have him govern us from there.
All of the American citizens who voted for the socialist government programs of career politician, Al Gore can have him. However, asking Bush supporters to rally behind a Gore presidency is akin to asking Russian Czar Nicholas II, to rally behind V.I. Lenin after the Soviet Coup of 1917.
If Al Gore manages to steal the presidency, we will need to change the name of our country to the "Divided States of America." California and the Northeast states should unite to form a new country called "The Welfare States of Gorica." Anyone who believes in paying large amounts of their paycheck towards big government welfare programs should move to "Gorica."
As for the rest of us, we'll call George W. Bush our president and we will have less government and less taxes. We'll also have the military on our side, so let's bomb the hell out of "Gorcia."
Jim Cegielski writes weekly for The Meridian Star.