By By Robert St. John / food columnist
Oct. 30, 2002
Robert St. John is the executive chef/owner of New South Restaurant Group, www.nsrg.com. His weekly food column appears in newspapers in Mississippi and Louisiana. He can be reached at robert@nsrg.com or (601) 264-0672.
I have spent the last 15 months publishing a book.
Wyatt Waters, a celebrated watercolorist, and I have self-published a coffee-table style cookbook with 130 contemporary seasonal Southern recipes, 13 short essays and 35 original watercolors.
During this process I learned a lot about the publishing business. For instance, I have learned that if you don't want to spend six stressful weeks worrying whether your book will make it into stores, don't have it printed in Hong Kong and don't have it shipped on a freightliner during the largest West Coast port lockout in the history of the shipping industry.
But that is a story for another day. Back to the column.
To fill this space I am allotted 750 words each week. I was tempted to use my share of newsprint as a bully pulpit for a blatant, flagrant and shameless attempt to promote my cookbook. But that wouldn't be kosher and I am not that shallow and self-centered (really?).
My private charities
Instead, I will plead the case for charity. Yes, all of the proceeds from this book will go to charity (y'all didn't know I was a philanthropist).
These charities are in their infancy, but nonetheless worthy of consideration. They are not as big as some of the larger national charities, but the overheads are low. These charities don't spend a lot of money on national ad campaigns but the recipients are very needy.
What charities, you ask? The United St. John Children's College Fund and the St. John Offspring Food Project, because a mind and a stomach are terrible things to waste.
The United St. John Children's College Fund was formed because my two children must be educated. The 5-year-old is smart, but the jury is still out on the 16-month old (he head-butts inanimate objects, sleeps upside down and occasionally bites the dog).
If the kids decide to go to a public institution I'll be covered. But, if they inherit their mother's gray matter they might be accepted to one of those expensive private colleges and I'll need all of the help I can get.
Of course, if they end up attending the DeVry Institute for Underwater Basket Weaving, the charity will need even more donations for the children will likely be on the payroll for the rest of their adult lives.
As for remaining book proceeds, they will go to the St. John Offspring Food Project to feed these two kids. Trust me, they eat a lot!
I thought about asking Sally Struthers to be a spokesperson for the St. John Offspring Food Project, but I was worried that Ms. Struthers might eat up all of the donations and not save any food for my children.
What the critics say
To help promote a book and add credibility to its contents, a publisher usually sends an advance copy of the book to various and notable authors, experts and celebrities. They, in turn, give glowing reviews which are printed on the back cover of the book.
We wanted to do that too, but no distinguished authors, celebrities or experts returned our phone calls. So, we worked with the resources available to us and the reviews are in:
Mr. Russell, Robert's elementary school principal
Anthony Webster, Robert's banker
Maria Keyes, Robert's bookkeeper
Jill St. John, Robert's wife
Cathy Creel, Robert's secretary
Dinny St. John, Robert's mom
Ken Curry, Robert's high school principal
Sally Struthers, actress, celebrity and charity spokesperson
Emeril Lagasse, celebrity chef
Stacey Andrews, Robert's
marketing director
Wyatt Waters
Clint Taylor, Robert's business partner
Hazelle White, Robert's grandmother
Creamy Balsamic Dressing
3 egg yolks
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
2 tablespoons garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons parsley, chopped
2 teaspoons oregano, dried
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 cup ranch dressing, prepared
1 cup cottonseed oil
11/2 teaspoons salt
Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a food processor except ranch dressing and oil. Mix well. With the machine running, slowly drizzle in ranch dressing and then cottonseed oil. Refrigerate until ready to use. This dressing will hold one week refrigerated.
Yield: 3 cups.