Happy Kwanzaramahannamas

By By Zeke Calhoun / guest columnist
Dec. 29, 2002
Zeke Calhoun is Craig Ziemba's liberal cousin from Boston.
In the spirit of the season, I wanted to send all of my quaint relatives in Mississippi the very warmest wishes for a joyous holiday. I respect each and every one of you as you choose to celebrate, or not celebrate, in keeping with your faith traditions.
If my joy this holiday season offends any atheist friends, please accept my apologies and know that I condone all of your life choices whatever they may be.
The end of the year is a time for introspection, meditation, and recommitment to the ideals that guide us down our life's path. This year, I would like to share my New Year's resolutions as an inspiration to fellow citizens of Mother Earth.
My first New Year's resolution is to renew my pledge to unconditionally oppose war, no matter what reasons may be given for its justification. I firmly believe that if everyone renounced war, our global family would finally experience peace on earth and good will to men and women.
No doubt you were inspired and touched last week with the message of Sean Penn and other Hollywood stars who lent their voices with the heavenly chorus calling for America to back down from its course of war against Iraq and let the United Nations handle any confrontations in the future.
Good faith
Perhaps the best way to bring Saddam Hussein and other misunderstood leaders back into the fold would be for us in the United States to lead by example and disarm ourselves first. A show of good faith on our part would restore trust between the peoples of the world and prove that hugs are
stronger than hate, and that the Peace Corps is more powerful than the Marine Corps.
If I may be so bold, I would also like to encourage my cousin who serves in the military to follow the courageous lead of our former President and do what he did while America was at war: flee to a foreign country. The universities of Europe will welcome you and provide you with numerous opportunities to publicly protest America's foreign policy.
Don't worry about how you'll be received when you come home. After you finish your studies, there will always be a place for you here in the Democratic Party. We need leaders who understand that America's aggression is really to blame for the problems that force Islamic terrorists into acts of desperation. It's time to give peace a chance.
My second New Year's resolution is to become more sensitive and educated about other cultures. Like most people of my generation, my education in
history was woefully inadequate. In school, we memorized the Declaration of Independence, the Gettysburg Address, the Bill of Rights, the Ten
Commandments, etc(all written by dead white guys), but never had the chance to learn the poems of the Hindu god Vishnu or the chants of the Dalai Lama.
And where would America be without the Dalai Lama?
Our fixation with Western Civilization robbed us of the opportunity to study the important contributions of the rest of the world, like the rise of democracy, the abolition of slavery, the industrial revolution, the Renaissance and free enterprise. Oh, wait, those all began in the West.
Still, I'm sure that if I study Middle and Far Eastern civilizations long enough, I'll find plenty to prove that American culture is actually inferior to theirs.
It's my meditation that you would all join with me in channeling peace and harmony around the globe. I wish you all a very Happy Kwanzaramahannamas.
Craig Ziemba is a pilot who lives in Meridian. He can be heard on WMOX-AM 1010 this Monday from 7:15 a.m.-9 a.m.