Unique fishing jargon
Franklin County Times
Last month I received a birthday card from Bass Pro Shops that offered some unique definitions for everyday terms that fishermen use. This week I'm going to enlighten you with a few of the terms.
Bite – What mosquitoes and black flies do while fishermen are preoccupied with not catching fish.
Can of Worms – The situation that arises when you inform your wife that you'll be spending the weekend fishing instead of doing household chores.
Crappie – The way you feel when you're at work and you'd rather be fishing.
Dock – The professional you should consult about your unhealthy fishing obsession.
Fish Finder – A revolutionary technical device that allows you to scan below the water's surface and actually see the fish you'll never catch.
Largemouth Bass – The most popular game fish in North America. Drop the "B," and it also becomes an accurate description of most fishermen.
Muskie – The odor of any tent or cabin after a group of fishermen has shared it for more than a day.
Snag – Something you're bound to hit if you try lying too outrageously about your catch.
Walleye – Common malady among fishermen, caused by too little sleep and too many cold drinks.
Wet Fly – The unhappy consequence of trying to potty over the side of a moving boat.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the lighthearted glimpse into the colorful world of fishing. Christmas is only 11 days away so you've still got time to stuff those stockings with fishing goodies. Kids, don't forget to ask Santa for a fishing rod – you can bet it's on my list.
Kevin Stone is branch manager and loan officer at Valley State Bank and can be reached at (256) 332-3600.