I can't think of a good prank anymore
My sister and I grew up in a kill or be killed environment.
No, we were not raised in a high-crime area or by mercenaries.
We were, however, devout pranksters always waiting for the perfect opportunity to catch the other off guard.
Being a few years older than myself, Valerie had quite a bit of practice by the time I came along, so I had to catch up quickly.
There were some classic pranks over the years including her telling me – when I was a young and impressionable child mind you – some vivid, yet false, stories about the Great Wall of China.
I guess she got a thrill out of the idea of me relating these stories to other people and looking like an idiot in the process.
Eventually, I developed my own skills and got even. My favorites include pinching my nose and pointing to Valerie while we were stopped at a busy intersection in Huntsville and trying not to laugh while she attempted to figure out why everybody was staring at her.
Another good one was putting horseradish sauce in her straw at a restaurant while she was in the bathroom.
She said she noticed people looking at her when she sat down and it sparked her curiosity.
She took a big sip and I was not the only one entertained when she found out why horseradish sauce is not one of the 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper.
I bring this up because today is April Fools' Day and I could not think of a great prank column for today's paper.
Is this a result of getting older or am I losing my skills because of inactivity?
Either way, I find it irritating.
I have always prided myself in coming up with cunning ways to make other people feel foolish, yet on the day everyone is allowed to prank others I come up empty.
Perhaps that is the reason I am struggling so much. Pranks work best when the target is unaware of the oncoming attack.
The prankster in me always liked the idea behind April Fools' Day, but I never really appreciated it because everybody is on guard.
Sure, if you can prank someone today it is good because you got that person to let their guard down.
It isn't as fulfilling to me though as a prank in the middle of September, or better yet, a good Christmas prank.
Oh well, maybe I will think of something good in a few weeks, after all, I am not ready to let my mischievous self go quite yet.
By the way, your shoe is untied.